Be strong and of a good courage

I was filling out paperwork today with my father, preparing for my doctors appointments early next week. Several times, in various ways, the question was asked What is your current stress level or how do you deal with stress or Who do you go to for comfort, What worries you most, etc. etc. Those questions were really hard for me. I haven't been stressed or riddled with anxiety during this process. My dad was trying to get me to circle different answers or rate the levels higher. I think he wanted what his stress and anxiety levels are to be adequately portrayed on the paperwork.

He, and several other friends and family members, is taking this much harder than I believe I myself am. I've mentioned to a few people that I'm not freaking out or becoming depressed, so why should you?

I was reading the current Ensign magazine which is all about temples. As I am still preparing and readying myself to go and attend with a full recommend, I thought it'd be a great thing to read and study. Several things were brought up that really help me understand why I feel the way I do about having cancer. Proverbs 3:5–6 states: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” This is sort of one of my main themes in life. I've used this principle many times in deciding big and small decisions. Anytime a perceived obstacle comes across my path, for me I quickly remember to 'trust in the Lord.'

All of this is not to say that I haven't been concerned with the prospects of my future, for honestly those worries are many. I have somber moods. Occasionally my mind will think of my sister. She passed away at the age of 25. Here I am, 25 years of age. It's hard not to make a comparison, even though it wasn't cancer that took her. I think how if things don't turn out, how I'd be able to see her, and that makes me incredibly happy, because it's been nearly 7 years. On the same note, the pain my parents and family still deal with over her passing would be unbearable if it too happened to me. So, anytime these thoughts enter my mind, I simply remember where fear comes from, and oddly I'm comforted. Heavenly Father has given me many blessings and many have yet to be fulfilled.

I know some of you are not of my faith, but knowing these things brings me great comfort. God has much in store for me and I know all will be well. Yes, there may be lots of pain along the way, but it will pass. There is no need to fear. Another motto of mine comes from Joshua 1:9, a verse I studied greatly this summer, "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." No matter what may come, I know I am not alone. All is well in Zion. :)